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How Using Dating Apps After Coming Out as a Bisexual Woman Helped Me Gain Confidence

How Using Dating Apps After Coming Out as a Bisexual Woman Helped Me Gain Confidence

Apprehensively, I logged onto three apps: Bumble, HER (a woman-centered dating app), and Lex (a queer-focused dating and connection app for LGBTQ+ folks). On each of the apps, I turned my settings to “everyone:” women, men, and nonbinary folks, who were all of different orientations themselves. I was excited to interact with folks who shared a queer identity. Within the first few months I used the apps, I matched with about 30 people, including cis-gender men, who were mostly heterosexual; cis-gender women, who were bisexual, lesbian, and pansexual; and nonbinary people, some of whom told me they were pansexual.

I found value in learning about myself and others who share my sexuality or simply have experience dating other queer people. Ultimately, as a result of using dating apps as a bisexual woman so soon after coming out, I was able to feel more confident in my identity. In fact, I wondered what took me so long.

My journey to use dating apps as a bisexual woman

While I’d had sexual encounters with women before coming out and going on dating apps as a bisexual woman, I can’t actually say that I “dated” them. To me, dating someone means considering what you envision for the future, or what you like about each other, among other things. That wasn’t happening when I had sex with women before I came out as bi, because I wasn’t even comfortable stepping into that label for myself.

It also bears mentioning that I’d never been on a dating app period before coming out, so my first experience with them was as an openly bisexual woman.

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